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Jul 24, 2010
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. >> jimmy: yeah, i would use any excuse. if i don't want to go to something, i need any excuse. >> as a matter of fact, there's another episode where jeff uses sammy, our daughter, to get out of engagements. and larry says, in the episode, "that's the reason right there to have kids." [ laughter ] that's one of the only reasons to have kids. you could do that. >> jimmy: to get out of stuff? >> yeah, you can do that. you go "oh, i can't. my kid has a recital." or "my kid's home sick." you can always use the kids and they're "oh, i understand. it's your kid." >> jimmy: it's brilliant. that is a brilliant thing. i should say about you and jeff. you and jeff garland are hosting a stand up benefit tuesday night, at gotham comedy club here in new york to benefit the aspca. >> aspca. >> jimmy: so, ticket info is on our site. latenightwithjimmyfallon.com. susie essman, you're the greatest. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, jimmy, thanks for having me. >> jimmy: come back whenever you want to. susie essman. we'll be right back with a so
. >> jimmy: yeah, i would use any excuse. if i don't want to go to something, i need any excuse. >> as a matter of fact, there's another episode where jeff uses sammy, our daughter, to get out of engagements. and larry says, in the episode, "that's the reason right there to have kids." [ laughter ] that's one of the only reasons to have kids. you could do that. >> jimmy: to get out of stuff? >> yeah, you can do that. you go "oh, i can't. my kid has a...
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Jul 28, 2010
07/10
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i use twitter a lot. you guys use twitter? [ cheers and applause ] it's really fun. if you ever go on twitter, they always have a list of these things called trending topics. and these are the things everyone on twitter is talking about. like, this weekend, it was "inception." or, basically, every day it's justin bieber. stuff like that. [ light laughter ] but sometimes there's like a weird one in there with a pound sign in front of it. they call it hash tag. like #what not to do on a first date or #remember second grade. and then people on twitter respond to them and give their two cents about what not to do on a first date or some funny memory about second grade. well, last week, we did something cool. during the show, i started my own hash tag, called "why don't they make that?" and you guys, the audience, tweeted out thousands and thousands of weird inventions that you'd like to see. and we showed a bunch of your tweets on the show, and it was really fun. so i thought tonight we'd try it again. i'm going to tweet out something right now. a super power that i'd li
i use twitter a lot. you guys use twitter? [ cheers and applause ] it's really fun. if you ever go on twitter, they always have a list of these things called trending topics. and these are the things everyone on twitter is talking about. like, this weekend, it was "inception." or, basically, every day it's justin bieber. stuff like that. [ light laughter ] but sometimes there's like a weird one in there with a pound sign in front of it. they call it hash tag. like #what not to do on a...
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Jul 16, 2010
07/10
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>> jimmy: use these? can you use your hands? >> no, first of all, stand in the middle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you ready? >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] let's see what you got, man! >> you ready? you see it? i knew it. >> jimmy: now how'd you know that? all right, try another one, try another one. >> another one? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, please. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm ready to go, yeah. [ laughter ] ♪ try one more. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, can you do one ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, can you do one more thing? can you use your head one in there? use your head and knock one in there? kurt will help you out. [ cheers and applause ] and that's amazing. thank you. thierry makes his american debut on july 22nd. for tickets go to new york red bulls.com. thierry henry! we'll be right back with a performance from the cast of the broadway musical, "million dollar quartet." come on back! ee[ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ welcome to ultimate rewards from chase
>> jimmy: use these? can you use your hands? >> no, first of all, stand in the middle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you ready? >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] let's see what you got, man! >> you ready? you see it? i knew it. >> jimmy: now how'd you know that? all right, try another one, try another one. >> another one? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, please. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm ready to go, yeah. [...
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Jul 20, 2010
07/10
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use a cellphone just to make phone calls. but when at&t or verizon offer you an unlimited plan for $69.99, that's all it's good for -- phone calls. with sprint, for the same price, you get unlimited text, unlimited web and unlimited calling to every mobile phone in america. now that's more like it. [ male announcer ] get our $69.99 plan and experience america's most improved customer satisfaction. only from sprint. deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities access www.sprintrelay.com. hi, you ready to order? [ indistinct conversations ] uh, yohoo?! sorry, big win tonight. [ sizzling, conversations stop ] thanks steve. [ sizzling ] works every time. we'll have that. [ male announcer ] come to applebee's today for new sizzling entrees starting at $8.99. try the spicy asian shrimp, steak and cheese, or chicken with queso blanco from only $8.99! fresh flavor never sounded so good. only at applebee's. now open till midnight or later. only at applebee's. and people like what we're saying.alue. about how fusion is pro
use a cellphone just to make phone calls. but when at&t or verizon offer you an unlimited plan for $69.99, that's all it's good for -- phone calls. with sprint, for the same price, you get unlimited text, unlimited web and unlimited calling to every mobile phone in america. now that's more like it. [ male announcer ] get our $69.99 plan and experience america's most improved customer satisfaction. only from sprint. deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities access...
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Jul 30, 2010
07/10
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ there aren't many of us who use a cellphone just to make phone calls. but when at&t or verizon offer you an unlimited plan for $69.99, that's all it's good for -- phone calls. with sprint, for the same price, you get unlimited text, unlimited web and unlimited calling to every mobile phone in america. now that's more like it. [ male announcer ] get our $69.99 plan and experience america's most improved customer satisfaction. only from sprint. deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities access www.sprintrelay.com. and experience america's most improved customer satisfaction. fish: see? you're on the bright side already-- green tea with citrus, sunny day. so...if it's cool with you, i'm gonna go for a quick swim. heh. be right back. [grunts] announcer: lipton--drink on the bright side. fish: hey! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] like summer, it's here, but not forever. the lexus golden opportunity sales event. don't wait to enjoy legendary lexus quality at equally legendary prices. .aler don't wait to enjoy legendary lexus quality our lexus de
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ there aren't many of us who use a cellphone just to make phone calls. but when at&t or verizon offer you an unlimited plan for $69.99, that's all it's good for -- phone calls. with sprint, for the same price, you get unlimited text, unlimited web and unlimited calling to every mobile phone in america. now that's more like it. [ male announcer ] get our $69.99 plan and experience america's most improved customer satisfaction. only from sprint. deaf,...
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Jul 22, 2010
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selena gomez joins us next. i love the mice, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ birds chirping ] [ puppy ] oh yeah, time for a little "me time." ♪ perfect paws. a little rub. bit of a trim. looking sexy! [ female announcer ] when you demand the very best... [ puppy ] oh yeah, it's a dog's life! [ female announcer ] ...you have to try cottonelle ultra toilet paper. [ puppy ] come to papa. [ female announcer ] it's the ultimate way to be kind to your behind. [ puppy ] i'm in the lap of luxury. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest this evening stars in an emmy award-winning tv series. her album "kiss and tell" is a smash hit, and she's one of the stars of the big family film "ramona and beezus," which is theaters everywhere this friday. please welcome one of our faves, selena gomez, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ happy birthday happy birthday, baby oh, i love you so 18 candles ♪ >> jimmy: happy, happy, happy birthday. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's someo
selena gomez joins us next. i love the mice, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ birds chirping ] [ puppy ] oh yeah, time for a little "me time." ♪ perfect paws. a little rub. bit of a trim. looking sexy! [ female announcer ] when you demand the very best... [ puppy ] oh yeah, it's a dog's life! [ female announcer ] ...you have to try cottonelle ultra toilet paper. [ puppy ] come to papa. [ female announcer ] it's the ultimate way to be kind to your behind. [ puppy ] i'm in...
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Jul 23, 2010
07/10
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do you want to catch us up? what is going on? what did we miss? >> i'm sworn to secrecy on so many things. but basically the end of season three, you sort of see the sterling cooper agency blow up and these guys are going to go on their own and start their own agency. and my character comes in and sort of says, "let's get this organized and get it together." so, that's where we're gonna start out. >> jimmy: so, if you haven't seen "mad men," you can just start fresh this season because it's almost like a new thing. >> it kind of feels like a pilot, feels like a new show. there's a lot of change and -- but you're gonna see all the people that you love. >> jimmy: i'm so excited. i can't wait. it's become such a pop phenomenon. you have your own barbie doll. >> i know, it's the craziest. >> jimmy: we have it right here. >> i love barbie so much, this is so exciting -- oh, you have her! >> jimmy: yeah, here she is. >> it's crazy! >> jimmy: look at that. >> look, she has little stockings. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's going on? >> what happe
do you want to catch us up? what is going on? what did we miss? >> i'm sworn to secrecy on so many things. but basically the end of season three, you sort of see the sterling cooper agency blow up and these guys are going to go on their own and start their own agency. and my character comes in and sort of says, "let's get this organized and get it together." so, that's where we're gonna start out. >> jimmy: so, if you haven't seen "mad men," you can just start...
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Jul 27, 2010
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he used to wear tap shoes. they used to call him the tapping gigolo. >> steve: yes, the tapping gigolo. >> jimmy: do you know that song? >> steve: yes, i do. >> jimmy: how does it go? it goes -- ♪ tapping gigolo tapping ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, good. ♪ he's a gigolo >> jimmy: that's a great song. >> steve: it's just a fantastic song. written by dwayne stenson. a little bit of trivia. >> jimmy: dwayne stenson. >> steve: dwayne stenson. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, and he died in a weird accident. >> steve: yes, he did. >> jimmy: it's one of those adventure things. >> steve: he was an adventure guy who liked to wear tap shoes climbing mountains. it didn't work out so well for him. [ laughter ] flipped and tapped down -- >> jimmy: a little trivia. >> steve: exactly. >> jimmy: let's take a look at another one here. what a nice couple these guys are. look how happy she is. she's thinking, "oh, he shouldn't have." and he's thinking, "i didn't. i'm re-gifting." [ laughter ] that's what he's doing. >> steve: in this e
he used to wear tap shoes. they used to call him the tapping gigolo. >> steve: yes, the tapping gigolo. >> jimmy: do you know that song? >> steve: yes, i do. >> jimmy: how does it go? it goes -- ♪ tapping gigolo tapping ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, good. ♪ he's a gigolo >> jimmy: that's a great song. >> steve: it's just a fantastic song. written by dwayne stenson. a little bit of trivia. >> jimmy: dwayne stenson. >> steve: dwayne...
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Jul 17, 2010
07/10
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ there aren't many of us who use a cellphone just to make phone calls. but when at&t or verizon offer you an unlimited plan for $69.99, that's all it's good for -- phone calls. with sprint, for the same price, you get unlimited text, unlimited web and unlimited calling to every mobile phone in america. now that's more like it. [ male announcer ] get our $69.99 plan and experience america's most improved customer satisfaction. only from sprint. deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities access www.sprintrelay.com. and experience america's most improved customer satisfaction. gecko: yeah... fastest growing for the past 5 years! obviously people love saving money. woman: welcome to the conference. here's your nametag, sir... annnd for you. gecko: uh... no i'll be ok, thanks. woman: but how will people know who you are? gecko: uh... you mean "the gecko"? woman: here lemme help you. gecko: really it's... really it's fine, (laughs) yeeaahhhh. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. we get double miles on e
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ there aren't many of us who use a cellphone just to make phone calls. but when at&t or verizon offer you an unlimited plan for $69.99, that's all it's good for -- phone calls. with sprint, for the same price, you get unlimited text, unlimited web and unlimited calling to every mobile phone in america. now that's more like it. [ male announcer ] get our $69.99 plan and experience america's most improved customer satisfaction. only from sprint. deaf,...
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Jul 21, 2010
07/10
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♪ it'll carry us away something so strong it'll carry us away ♪ they're not doing that song either, no. [ laughter ] but they are doing a new song. they've got a new album. >> steve: all right. >> jimmy: and it's gonna be good. [ cheers and applause ] and i think, for the web, they're gonna do a bonus song for us. >> steve: which song? >> jimmy: i'm not telling. >> steve: what?! >> jimmy: it's very exciting. you got to go to the web and find out. >> steve: okay. [ steve laughs strangely ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's one of those deals. is that your new laugh? >> steve: that's my "wipe out" laugh. yeah. [ laughs strangely again ] ♪ [ "wipe out" drum solo ] >> jimmy: okay, yeah. ladies and gentlemen, time for "pros and cons." here they are. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: this is where we take a look at the stories and issues making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. tonight's topic, "summer camp." a lot of kids are going off to camp right now. all right, let's take a look at the "pros and cons" of summer camp. pro, for city kids, summer c
♪ it'll carry us away something so strong it'll carry us away ♪ they're not doing that song either, no. [ laughter ] but they are doing a new song. they've got a new album. >> steve: all right. >> jimmy: and it's gonna be good. [ cheers and applause ] and i think, for the web, they're gonna do a bonus song for us. >> steve: which song? >> jimmy: i'm not telling. >> steve: what?! >> jimmy: it's very exciting. you got to go to the web and find out. >>...
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Jul 29, 2010
07/10
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he can't do wrong to us." i remember when the voting was coming up and white people were coming to black people. they were serious, too. they were like, "so you are going to vote for obama just because he's black," and we were like, "uh, yeah. [ laughter ] that's the reason why i'm voting." but i love him. he will be on "the view." so i think that's really cool. but i love the way this dude talks. he's smooth. you know what i mean? he won the election, because of the debates. he was just freestyling. they were like, "president obama, what do you think about the word it?" and he'd just be smooth, you know. [ as obama ] "well, first, let's consider 'it.'" [ laughter ] "if 'it' means lowering interest rates so that americans can afford homes, then 'it' is plausible. then 'it' is american." [ laughter ] "if 'it' is too legit to quit." anyway, that's my take on it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you have a lot in common with obama. >> i do. i have a very diverse background. i started -- i was just t
he can't do wrong to us." i remember when the voting was coming up and white people were coming to black people. they were serious, too. they were like, "so you are going to vote for obama just because he's black," and we were like, "uh, yeah. [ laughter ] that's the reason why i'm voting." but i love him. he will be on "the view." so i think that's really cool. but i love the way this dude talks. he's smooth. you know what i mean? he won the election, because...